I have a facebook friend who is someone I knew in grades 4-7 when I lived in Columbus, Wisconsin. Back then, we did cool things like naming a small bride over a creek (or crick as one would say in that region) “The Condom Crossing” because we once saw a used condom floating by there.
Anyway, she’s since become some sort of bikini model and was recently crowned “Miss [local hard-rock radio station].” The competition took place at a super shitty bar in Madison and she has pictures of it up on facebook for everyone to see, and I have an actual opinion now on bikini contests, where previously I had none other than a mild “um, ew” feeling.
Here is my new stance: I don’t think people with fake breasts should be in swimsuit-wearing competitions. As much as I hate them and they feel weird and are part of the oppression of women by the patriarchy…they fill out a bikini top in a way more “awesome” way than natural breasts do.
So I’d like to propose that implant ladies are either banned from swimsuit competitions or they get their own. They can have a separate “Miss Fake Boob America” pageant.
OH man, this is probably the worst drunken rant to post to tumblr. Oh well. PS I finally watched Croupier tonight and it was the best movie I’ve seen in a long time and it had all the Clive Owen.
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clunelover posted this
