Just re-remembered how Jeremy refused to let me get a woodblock print of the devil to hang in our house a few years ago. I think complaining about it was one of my first ever posts here. I’m going to see if it’s still on etsy. I DESERVE IT, DAMMIT.
Feeling your baby move is supposed to be super magical and amazing. For instance I just googled it and one response to the question “what does it feel like when the baby starts moving” was “it feels like the whole world stops and it’s just you and your little one” which is both unhelpful, because that’s not a sensation, and a little gross.
Anyway, to me it is a bizarre and kind of scary feeling. As of today it’s switched from “butterflies like from being nervous but I’m not nervous” to “like the muscles in my low stomach are spasming only I can tell they’re not actually spasming” and let me tell you it is nuts. Each time it happens I get an accompanying jolt of adrenaline and I don’t know about any of you but when I get an adrenaline rush I get super nauseated.
I hope everyone is enjoying this blog’s transition into a place where I bitch about the realities of pregnancy.
PS we took the place in Spanish town. I will not have the option to miss the parade this year.
Sometime this weekend I decided that if I could live in the Spanishtown neighborhood of Baton Rouge, literally all my dreams will come true. Seeing a place there tonight at 6, I hope it’s not ugly.
I was so ravenous I cooked two veggie burgers and now I don’t want either of them.
ACTUAL MESSAGE OF (500) DAYS OF SUMMER THAT NO ONE ACTUALLY REALIZES
I showed this to my husband last night because I thought it was cool. He read it out loud…causing me to say “OH, bizarro. I read it as burrito.” Made even more sense then, but I kind of like it my way too.
Here’s a thing: I had my first nosey comment about things I’m eating on Friday. A coworker saw me with an iced coffee and said something about how “the caffeine can get into the placenta” (eh?)
I had all kinds of cool responses planned for this event, both diplomatic and bitchy. But this coworker is a super annoying but also well meaning gal who speaks English pretty badly. So I neither had the energy to walk through how many milligrams of caffeine pregnant people are “allowed” to have, nor the heart to shut her down.
So, what did I settle on? In my warped brain I decided the best middle ground was to just say “….Yeeeeah, I don’t care.”
Awesomely enough, this didn’t phase her one bit because, much in the way she doesn’t know when she’s being rude (like when she asked “what are you?” in regards to religion, or helpfully informed me “your lunch is HUGE”) she also doesn’t really know when other people are being rude. So she just moved on to telling me about a coupon for Starbucks on a Chinese website called dealmoon.com
I think though, that I have to be more on my game next time this happens. Or just remember to drink my evil baby-ruining coffee in private.
I ate a donut today for the first time in a year at least. Actually, wow, I think I can remember my last donut: May of 2011 when I was in New York for a bachelorette do. So, okay, two years. Anyway, what is the deal with donuts? It was so gross and my stomach is so mad and it left a sick grease film in my mouth. People who love all donuts make me suspicious. Good ones are good but most of them are so bad.
Okay, well, that’s it.
OH and I didn’t fail anything this semester and it is OVER.
I hope this baby understands that if I don’t do well on tomorrow’s final, I will punish it by not letting this family go on any vacations, until it reaches the age where going on family vacation is a fate worse than death, at which point we will start visiting, I don’t know, let’s say a petrified forest, every summer. Do you hear me, baby?!